this is how americans celebrate 4th of july in london
THATS NOT EVEN REAL TEA YOU UNGRATEFUL YANK
-sound of bumbling angry british persons in the distance-
Like you would know what real tea is, you stole it from the Asians
This should be posted in school hallways.
A Seeing Eye Dog on his first day
he knows he’s gonna do such a good job
cards against humanity / avengers edition
requested by my-fangirl-is-showing
Alright so I started OUAT and it’s pretty good.
i think your sister knows how to turn the FCK UP
OH MY GOD
Can we have a Clifford live action movie? Not a kids movie either.
Like, Emily Elizabeth’s parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum. None of their testing is working and they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing better results. They inject a variety of animals, including a dog. Nothing. They are desperate and on the verge of having their project shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant. It gives birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter.
To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so. They are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit one they weren’t expecting. There is only one problem.
Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side. Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet. They decide to let their project be canceled rather than try to separate the two. Unfortunately, the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to retrieve Clifford at any costs. During the initial conflict, Emily Elizabeth’s parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape. Emily and her dog flee into the wild. This sets the opening of the movie.
Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed into a survivalist expert. She and Clifford roam the backwoods, constantly in fear of being captured. On one of her rare trips into town one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple hostages. She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the hostages but wreck the bank in the process. The local news capture footage of Clifford and it isn’t long before the military arrives in town.
Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying property in their search. She decides that enough is enough and rides Clifford back into town and fights the military. Amidst the fighting a huge truck arrives. A general (who was her parent’s superior officer) gets out and smirks. He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford’s mother wasn’t the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after receiving an injection. The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a massive tabby cat. The cat strains against its bindings and tears free, immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring them. Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack.
What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant cat. Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile. It looks like Clifford is down for the count, when the townsfolk, recognizing that Clifford is on their side, come to his aid. They distract the cat long enough for him to finish the beast off for good.
The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more. But the legend of the big red dog has already started. And Emily Elizabeth knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride into battle against the forces of evil once more.
The credits roll.
Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment. The sound of waves crashing on shore fills the air. The screen flashes brilliant white. The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a rainy day. The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out to sea. A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in the clouds. A smaller object rapidly approaches them. It resolves itself into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore from them. Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a hand on his leg. A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his arms around himself to fight off the cold.
He approaches the two. His hair is short and somewhat curly. He wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a threat to the two.
“Emily Elizabeth,” he says over the sound of the crashing surf, “I worked with your parents. It’s taken us a while to find you, after the Birdwell Island incident.”
“And who exactly is ‘us’,” she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously.
Ignoring her question, the man continues. “Me and Clifford have a lot in common, actually.” He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on. “I was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss. He’s fairly excited to talk with you.”
“You still haven’t answered my question. Who are you and who do you work for?”
The man smiles. “My name is Banner. And I’m hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative.”
how long did you even spend writing this for that fucking twist ending because my friend you are one devoted fan
HOLY FUCKING SHIT BEST PLOT TWIST EVER HOLY SHIT I AM FREAKING OUT HOLY SHIT THIS IS JUST SO WONDERFUL BLESS YOU BLESS YOUR SOUL BLESS YOUR MOTHER BLESS YOUR MONEY
hogwarts + places
Recap of 5.19 “Hammer of the Gods”
The head of a company survived 9/11 because
His son started kindergarten.
Another fellow was alive because it was
His turn to bring donuts.
One woman was late because her
Alarm clock didn’t go off in time.
One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike
Because of an auto accident.
One of them
Missed his bus.
One spilled food on her clothes and had to take
Time to change.
Car wouldn’t start.
Get a taxi.
The one that struck me was the man
Who put on a new pair of shoes that morning,
Took the various means to get to work but before.
He got there, he developed a blister on his foot.
He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.
That is why he is alive today..
Now when I am
Stuck in traffic,
Miss an elevator,
Turn back to answer a ringing telephone…
All the little things that annoy me,
I think to myself,
This is exactly where
I’m meant to be
At this very moment
This is by far the stupidest thing I have ever made.